Oh My! 2 Babies under 2 Years Old!

 It’s been almost a year since my last entry on here. I always want to write more often, but seems to get away from me. I write because I like to. I also like to look back at what was going on as you think you’ll remember, but you won’t. I do this blog to help others. I’ve been through some wild rides and if anything, even one word, can help someone else…I want to.

I was just looking back at what I wrote last Jan 26, 2016. I had mislead people that I was pregnant as I was talking about my first born. Little did I know at that time I was actually pregnant. In this entry I was mentioning that I was NOT pregnant, but was just feeling comfortable writing about my first pregnancy. My son was around 8 mos old at the time of that writing. Well, life is a funny thing b/c I found out about a month after  that I WAS pregnant. Probably was newly pregnant while writing that. 

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Our first born starting solids

Well, I’m here writing now with 2 wonderful babies that are 17mos apart. Baby born in May 2015 and my 2nd Oct 2016. Oddly enough we were married in those 2 months. Yes, I married the same man twice in one year. We were married in May 2013 in North Carolina (my hometown), but then married again in his hometown in Oct 2013. Wild ride!

img_1207Boy have I changed though. I went from never wanting children of my own, to having a molar pregnancy, to wanting a whole litter of children. Once I saw the positive pregnancy stick years ago (Molar pregnancy), I knew I desperately wanted to be a mom. After having my first, I knew I wanted more babies. I just didn’t know if it would be possible. WE went through A LOT to have our first. I felt so blessed to have him. Then, our 2nd was quite a surprise. We had no idea. I was terrified at first of having 2 babies under 2 years old, but was elated as well. I look forward to sharing the drama and excitement of finding out about baby #2 next week. Hope you join in to read!

 

Lots to Learn–Come Journey with Me!

The Amazing Human Body!

First, my last post was misleading to those who know me. I am not currently pregnant. I mentioned in my last post that I never fully relaxed during my pregnancy. After the molar pregnancy, I was a bit on edge during this pregnancy. In feeling like this, I did not feel comfortable talking about, writing about my pregnancy while I was pregnant. We didn’t even tell family we were pregnant until I was around 18 weeks, which was after the anatomy ultrasound. 

I don’t know if my feelings are normal, but after the pain of having a molar pregnancy, I just couldn’t feel “safe” during this pregnancy. I did try to remind myself to enjoy this time. I didn’t have too rough of a pregnancy. I felt as though I had a mild case of stomach flu until around week 20. Then, I felt amazing. This mild flu feeling returned around week 32. The Human Body just amazes me. It really wasn’t until I went through this pregnancy that I realized how truly incredible our bodies are. The way our bodies move and open to accept this life growing inside. I was in awe watching my ribs widen to make space for baby, my hips opened, the veins you see so visible throughout your body, which shows the transportation of food and life. Our hormones…oh those hormones. I didn’t notice my mood changing very much, but I noticed my cravings and dislikes. This was crazy to me. I’ve always liked room temperature water…now it had to be ICE cold w/ lemon. I could only drink light coloured soft drinks, I COULD NOT tolerate any coffee or tea, which I am a true coffee connoisseur. I’ve been a vegetarian for 8 years, but I craved meat during my

Abt 12 deer Matt was feeding at Iroquois--March 17, 2013 (2)

We see so many deer on our hikes! Beautiful, majestic creatures. Make me feel so peaceful.

pregnancy. Just crazy stuff. Another is I LOVE to exercise. I didn’t do much of my normal routines as I wasn’t taking any chances of disturbing the life inside of me. I did hike an hour most every day, walked every night and did weight training. I just was shocked at how incredibly winded I would get. Hills on my hikes that might slow me a bit, now fully take my breathe away. I now have to stop and rest. What? Never had to do that in my life.

It’s just amazing to me how our bodies change, grow and just know what to do to protect and nurture the life inside. It blows my mind how it all progresses. More fun is to get all the advice as to what gender my baby is going to be. Everyone has a guess, an opinion and a reason for their opinion. What a blast. What is the gender? Have to wait til next week…..

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Our Australian Shepherd Furbabies out on our hike!

 

 

“Make It A Great Day–Go Inspire!”

 

Oh, Those Pregnancy Wants and Don’t Wants!

Oh the joy of seeing that positive sign on the infamous stick. Joy and more joy….and the awful worry. See, I’ve had that “+” sign before and became filled with that ever so naive feeling of being pregnant and waiting to meet my baby. It’s not that easy. Not always. Not for all of us. It certainly wasn’t easy for me. Here I am a few years after the Molar Pregnancy, holding another positive pregnancy test, but this time with excitement and fear running through my veins. How do I know this won’t have the same outcome? Is this a growing, healthy baby or a bunch of molar cells that could turn to cancer?

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The first time I got pregnant–ended in a molar pregnancy

Week 6, Week 12 go by and all seems to be going well. Every day I just couldn’t relax. I did take time to enjoy my pregnancy, but not fully. I always had this nagging feeling, the what if something goes wrong again feeling. I was so oblivious before. I just thought getting pregnant would be easy and once you were pregnant…you just have a baby 9 mos later. Little did I know how truly difficult it is to get pregnant, to sustain a pregnancy and to have healthy baby. I spent so much of my life protecting myself from getting pregnant that I never realized the true beauty, challenge and overall miracle getting pregnant would be.

Around week 12 I noticed some bleeding again. This was a rough moment. I just felt fragile right then. There’s nothing you can do stop the bleeding, to stop a miscarriage. It’s out of your hands. There’s nothing anyone can do. I felt like a failure. This was the only moment throughout my pregnancy that I felt like I was having a breakdown. It was awful. I had my 12 week ultrasound coming up in a few days. What an agonizing wait those couple of days were. You read online that all is ok, some searches said all was not ok. What a cruel feeling. Google can be your best friend or worst enemy.

Well, the days pass by and off to the ultrasound we go. I’m so nervous that my cheeks are flushed, my heart is visible through my shirt and my bladder is so full I feel it in my throat. Not only was this the day for my genetic screening, but for me, this was the day to find out if all was ok after the bleeding…..

It took 1hr b/c our baby was so active. This was ok with me. All I needed to know is that the baby was active. All else didn’t matter at that time…Not even my overly full bladder. By the way, I was asked to partially empty 3 times. Have you ever tried “partially emptying” your bladder? That is a real challenge. All your body wants to do is FULLY EMPTY your bladder. Great Kegel exercise though. Mind over matter in this case. Phew is that tough!

 

“Make It A Great Day–Go Inspire!”  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wow! A Lot Has Changed In 3 Years!

So, when I left off 3 years ago I was looking at 2 paths. Life was a whirlwind, but a good one. Now, life is the best it’s ever been. As many of you probably know, I started this blog as a way to help others especially with Molar Pregnancies. I had recently endured a turbulent many months full of wonder, fear and the unknown. I had to accept that I was not in control. I had no other choice BUT to accept that fact. Getting pregnant, staying pregnant, having a baby—I have found that all of this is out of my control.

Control: the act or power of controlling; regulation; domination or command. I’ve always had control of my life. My feelings, my job, how things were going to turn out. Yep, yep and yep–I had it under control.

Then, my hubby mentioned that we should start trying to get pregnant as we aren’t getting any younger. Rewind to the end of 2010 w/ the Molar Pregnancy and the many years since. Over these years is when I learned that some things aren’t and never will be in my control!

Sometimes the best things are worth the wait. For some those things may never happen and we have to find the happiness in what we have. May not always be easy, trust me, but sometimes that’s the way it is.

Since taking these 3 years off to go about my life and see which path would happen for me, I am hoping to start writing again. My life has changed in so many ways and I’ve had many wonderful compliments about this blog that I really want to put some information back out there. Even if I’m the only one that reads this blog at least I have my stamp on this blog. Something that anyone can look and realize that life throws many curveballs, ups and downs, but it’s all about how we deal w/ this life we’ve been given. Hope to keep up this time and not let life get in the way.

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“Make It A Great Day–Go Inspire!”

May Look the Same, But Could Not Be More Different!

All of us in Austria--Amazing!

My Mom!

This blog has been going on for just over a year now. I can’t help but look back at a year ago when I first began blogging. I think about last December when my life was just about to be turned upside down. Last February may look the same, but feels drastically different. What a difference a year can make. This makes me think back for a moment: I had lost one of my two precious dogs and little did I know that last December, only 8 months after losing Stryker, my other dog Tazz would pass away. Little did I know that last December I would become pregnant and find out that my mother had breast cancer.

Then, I move to January where all hell broke loose. My mother had a mastectomy at the same time I had a D&C due to my molar pregnancy. My mom and I would be 12 hrs away from one another (NC to Ontario) having surgeries and supporting each other from afar. Neither of us could be there physically for one another, but somehow the mother/daughter bond brought us through. Amazingly, in one of her worst times and one of mine, we were helping the other be stronger than ever before. Sometimes you don’t have to be beside someone to have a connection, support, love.

Stryker & Tazz on a nice day!

Besties!

MG and I--Mayan Riviera

Follow that up w/ last February. It just kept going. My HcG levels were dropping nicely. All felt like after the worst time of my life things were going right. Then, on Feb 5th my fiance and I made an overnight decision to get away and surprise some family w/ a visit to Mexico. On the way to the airport, my best friend reaches out to tell me her mother passed away suddenly. We have been best friends since we were 4 yrs old. This wonderful woman was a 2nd mother to me. Again, being 12 hrs away (NC to Ontario) and now on a flight to Mexico, how could I be there to support her? Needless to say I wasn’t physically there for her either. Our strength in friendship overrides all though and we got through it–together. After an amazing vacay in the Mayan Riviera, my HcG levels started to rise. I was sent to several specialists and ending at the oncologist’s where they wanted me to get chemo. You can read in my earlier blogs all about that ordeal.

The rest of my year went well and brings me to now. Same month, same spelling, same feeling as last year, but very different. Thank God! My life has changed in so many ways. I look back and wish things had not gone the way they did, but I learned so much. I truly became a better person, a much different person, but better. I realized how special each and every day is and how short life is and how quickly they can change. I learned to try not to take things so seriously and try to focus on the positive.

They love to watch the ducks!

My 2012 will be different. I have two new amazing pups. They will never be Stryker and Tazz, but I don’t want them to be. They are who they are and we are having a blast. I love them like crazy and I don’t compare–that wouldn’t be fair to me or them. I waited long enough for me to get anther dog and it is amazing. My mother is doing very well and I just hope to be half as strong as her. I never realized how amazingly tough, strong and powerful she was until she went through cancer. As terrible as that was for her it made her a better person. She retired from a job she didn’t enjoy anymore (she would never have left if not for the cancer), she goes to cooking classes, walks, exercises, eats better and the list goes on. All things she never really did before cancer. My best friend is doing well and still has rough patches in getting through the emotions of losing her mother, but she is ok. I have been cleared, finally, after a year of blood work and tests. I don’t have to have any check ups now.

We all have ups and downs. Mine all happened in a 10 month span. I’m sure I will have more as life goes on. I’ve learned to be strong for others and help even if I can’t be right by their side. A true bond will get you through as long as you are there in some form. I try to see the positive and I’m much stronger. My life could not be more different from a year ago. There’s a lot I would change, but I got through it. I survived. You all will. Sometimes it takes time and when you are at your lowest is when you have to fight the hardest. It is so easy to be happy when all is well. The true test of character is when times are rough. Mine and my loved ones true character’s came out last year and I’m proud to say we are all better people and could not have supported each other more. I’m honored to be in each and every one of your lives–the one’s mentioned here and the other’s who just supported me in the background–you know who you are and I thank you! Here’s to 2012!

After a Cold Swim

“Make It A Great Day–Go Inspire!”

It’s Been A Month? Time Flies!

I took a look at my blog page for the first time yesterday in a long time. I was surprised to see that my last entry was a month ago. Where does time go? I was amazed at how many of you are still reading and checking in w/ me to see if I’ve posted again. So, thanks to all of you and I will try to be better.

First came my little red merle

Two weeks later my little blue merle boy was 8 wks old and ready to come home…

So, what has been keeping me busy…..well, these 2 boys. After the loss of our previous 2 Australian Shepherds we took about a year to heal. For us, we needed this time. Unfortunately, we have a lot of friends and aquaintances we see on our hiking trail every day who have also lost pets (family members to all of us). Some need to find a new member of the family immediately, some have waited 15 yrs to make the addition. For MG and I it was a year. He nor I spoke of getting a new pup for a long time. I train in obedience and agility and do some herding, so I always have my eyes on breeders that I like. I do a lot of research before I decide on a breeder, pup, etc. So, I had been researching for when we were ready, I would be up to date w/ what was going on in the Aussie world. Well, a few months back MG brought up that he wanted a pup, he missed the friendship and happiness that dogs bring to our lives. Even though I had been researching, I thought it would be a couple of years before I made the addition. I just never really let myself think of it. I still hurt, miss and think of Stryker and Tazz every day. It hasn’t gotten easier and I have realized it just never will. I will never get over losing them. Once MG mentioned it, I started thinking. At first, I wasn’t sure I was ready, then it really grew on me. I began to look inside myself and realize the sadness and lack of life I had. This is because we are DOG people. We need them and love them.

Fast forward a bit and I fell in love w/ 2 breedings. We bagan to look at the option of getting 2 pups at the same time. I liked this b/c we travel, sit on patios, go for visits, etc a lot. I don’t want to have a dog that is 3yrs old, perfect and trustworthy and start all over w/ a pup. I would rather have 2 that are close in age, but once they are trustworthy, they both are. So, that’s what we did. They are 2 wks apart in age. One is from here in Canada (Orillia) and the other is from Michigan. We love them. Funny thing is that both have important meanings and I wasn’t looking for this at all. My oldest (11 wks today) is from Pink Ribbon Kennels and she named her kennel this b/c of her mother’s struggle w/ breast cancer. As you know, my mother survived breast cancer a year ago. My youngest (9wks old yesterday) was born on 9/11. This was the 10 yr anniversary of the 9/11 event. Obviously I’m an American, so this date is very significant. Ironinc? Maybe.

Anyway, my life is full w/ 2 bundles of joy and we could not be happier. I could use more sleep, but these boys are pretty perfect. We now get up at 6am everyday and stay up until at least midnight (I’m a real estate agent–we work all the time). Fortunately, if MG and I do decide to have children, this is a great warm up to prepare us. Get ready, you will be getting a lot of pics and stories about these 2 Australian Shepherds. It is never a boring day around here.

At least someone around here gets some sleep….

“Make It A Great Day–Go Inspire!”

It’s Getting A Little Spooky!!!

Around this house, we decorate. We don’t have any kids, probably one of only a few on this street that don’t, but we decorate better than anyone. We love it. I know my fiance’s family enjoy decorating and they do a lovely job. My family was always very interested in decorating. I remember some phenomenal Halloween’s growing up and looking forward to all that sugar. Now, the thought of all that candy makes me nauseous. Just the thought, ugghhh, tummy churning, tummy churning. We love handing out all that candy though. We decorate a lot, even change the color of our outdoor lights to match the holiday. We always dress up and hand out candy. Then, it’s off to whatever activity happens next.

So, as you will see, one of the busy things in my life is decorating and buying more decorations. The good thing is that some of my newbies are on sale. 50% off. Score! and I don’t have to do too much explaining to the King of our house. By the way, he will definitely not like being called “King”.  Anyway, here are some pics. They don’t do it justice, but still fun. MG even spent hours hand painting the 2 coffins. They look magnificent. Sometimes you get caught up in your own work. This paintbrush just kept following him around.

I also really enjoy haunted houses. My best friend and I used to go to every haunted house, trail, hayride, you name it. I still try to make it to one or 2 during the season. I can’t stand the anticipation. It always gets me. I still scream like a 4 yr old every time I go. I know they can’t hurt me, but it is that darn anticipation that something around that next corner is going to get me.

Boo!

 

 

 

 

 

 

When it comes to holidays, I’m still a kid. I like to enjoy them, decorate, etc. They make me really happy. This is part of why I love fall. I’m anticipating the good around the corner. Since I’m a US citizen in Canada, I get to enjoy TWO Thanksgiving’s. How lucky is that? Darn lucky for someone who loves holidays. I enjoy the family time, the hustle and bustle, the crispness in the air and all the other decorations at people houses. You should see the looks as people pass by our outdoor skeleton. They give some pretty crazy looks. To make things worse, we added a spider in the tree that hangs down. Looks get a bit crazier. It’s all in fun. I love it and it makes me smile. Hopefully it makes others smile. Actually, it does. After the look of concern, every person continues walking w/ a smile. We’ve even had neighbors thank us for making their days happier. How much they enjoy looking at our decorations every day. That’s nice. I almost decorate now more for others than for us, but I still enjoy it more than anyone.

Oh, a picture that is spooky w/o having anything to do w/ Halloween. We were driving down the highway the other day just as this plane was landing. Some see this every day b/c the airport is near the highway. Me, I don’t see this much and it is a little spooky to see this huge plane, flying so low and close to the cars. You never know if they are landing properly. All was good, but left me w/ a little thought. Well, enjoy the season and the decorating!

 

 

“Make It A Great Day–Go Inspire!”

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