The Amazing Human Body!

First, my last post was misleading to those who know me. I am not currently pregnant. I mentioned in my last post that I never fully relaxed during my pregnancy. After the molar pregnancy, I was a bit on edge during this pregnancy. In feeling like this, I did not feel comfortable talking about, writing about my pregnancy while I was pregnant. We didn’t even tell family we were pregnant until I was around 18 weeks, which was after the anatomy ultrasound. 

I don’t know if my feelings are normal, but after the pain of having a molar pregnancy, I just couldn’t feel “safe” during this pregnancy. I did try to remind myself to enjoy this time. I didn’t have too rough of a pregnancy. I felt as though I had a mild case of stomach flu until around week 20. Then, I felt amazing. This mild flu feeling returned around week 32. The Human Body just amazes me. It really wasn’t until I went through this pregnancy that I realized how truly incredible our bodies are. The way our bodies move and open to accept this life growing inside. I was in awe watching my ribs widen to make space for baby, my hips opened, the veins you see so visible throughout your body, which shows the transportation of food and life. Our hormones…oh those hormones. I didn’t notice my mood changing very much, but I noticed my cravings and dislikes. This was crazy to me. I’ve always liked room temperature water…now it had to be ICE cold w/ lemon. I could only drink light coloured soft drinks, I COULD NOT tolerate any coffee or tea, which I am a true coffee connoisseur. I’ve been a vegetarian for 8 years, but I craved meat during my

Abt 12 deer Matt was feeding at Iroquois--March 17, 2013 (2)

We see so many deer on our hikes! Beautiful, majestic creatures. Make me feel so peaceful.

pregnancy. Just crazy stuff. Another is I LOVE to exercise. I didn’t do much of my normal routines as I wasn’t taking any chances of disturbing the life inside of me. I did hike an hour most every day, walked every night and did weight training. I just was shocked at how incredibly winded I would get. Hills on my hikes that might slow me a bit, now fully take my breathe away. I now have to stop and rest. What? Never had to do that in my life.

It’s just amazing to me how our bodies change, grow and just know what to do to protect and nurture the life inside. It blows my mind how it all progresses. More fun is to get all the advice as to what gender my baby is going to be. Everyone has a guess, an opinion and a reason for their opinion. What a blast. What is the gender? Have to wait til next week…..

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Our Australian Shepherd Furbabies out on our hike!

 

 

“Make It A Great Day–Go Inspire!”

 

May Look the Same, But Could Not Be More Different!

All of us in Austria--Amazing!

My Mom!

This blog has been going on for just over a year now. I can’t help but look back at a year ago when I first began blogging. I think about last December when my life was just about to be turned upside down. Last February may look the same, but feels drastically different. What a difference a year can make. This makes me think back for a moment: I had lost one of my two precious dogs and little did I know that last December, only 8 months after losing Stryker, my other dog Tazz would pass away. Little did I know that last December I would become pregnant and find out that my mother had breast cancer.

Then, I move to January where all hell broke loose. My mother had a mastectomy at the same time I had a D&C due to my molar pregnancy. My mom and I would be 12 hrs away from one another (NC to Ontario) having surgeries and supporting each other from afar. Neither of us could be there physically for one another, but somehow the mother/daughter bond brought us through. Amazingly, in one of her worst times and one of mine, we were helping the other be stronger than ever before. Sometimes you don’t have to be beside someone to have a connection, support, love.

Stryker & Tazz on a nice day!

Besties!

MG and I--Mayan Riviera

Follow that up w/ last February. It just kept going. My HcG levels were dropping nicely. All felt like after the worst time of my life things were going right. Then, on Feb 5th my fiance and I made an overnight decision to get away and surprise some family w/ a visit to Mexico. On the way to the airport, my best friend reaches out to tell me her mother passed away suddenly. We have been best friends since we were 4 yrs old. This wonderful woman was a 2nd mother to me. Again, being 12 hrs away (NC to Ontario) and now on a flight to Mexico, how could I be there to support her? Needless to say I wasn’t physically there for her either. Our strength in friendship overrides all though and we got through it–together. After an amazing vacay in the Mayan Riviera, my HcG levels started to rise. I was sent to several specialists and ending at the oncologist’s where they wanted me to get chemo. You can read in my earlier blogs all about that ordeal.

The rest of my year went well and brings me to now. Same month, same spelling, same feeling as last year, but very different. Thank God! My life has changed in so many ways. I look back and wish things had not gone the way they did, but I learned so much. I truly became a better person, a much different person, but better. I realized how special each and every day is and how short life is and how quickly they can change. I learned to try not to take things so seriously and try to focus on the positive.

They love to watch the ducks!

My 2012 will be different. I have two new amazing pups. They will never be Stryker and Tazz, but I don’t want them to be. They are who they are and we are having a blast. I love them like crazy and I don’t compare–that wouldn’t be fair to me or them. I waited long enough for me to get anther dog and it is amazing. My mother is doing very well and I just hope to be half as strong as her. I never realized how amazingly tough, strong and powerful she was until she went through cancer. As terrible as that was for her it made her a better person. She retired from a job she didn’t enjoy anymore (she would never have left if not for the cancer), she goes to cooking classes, walks, exercises, eats better and the list goes on. All things she never really did before cancer. My best friend is doing well and still has rough patches in getting through the emotions of losing her mother, but she is ok. I have been cleared, finally, after a year of blood work and tests. I don’t have to have any check ups now.

We all have ups and downs. Mine all happened in a 10 month span. I’m sure I will have more as life goes on. I’ve learned to be strong for others and help even if I can’t be right by their side. A true bond will get you through as long as you are there in some form. I try to see the positive and I’m much stronger. My life could not be more different from a year ago. There’s a lot I would change, but I got through it. I survived. You all will. Sometimes it takes time and when you are at your lowest is when you have to fight the hardest. It is so easy to be happy when all is well. The true test of character is when times are rough. Mine and my loved ones true character’s came out last year and I’m proud to say we are all better people and could not have supported each other more. I’m honored to be in each and every one of your lives–the one’s mentioned here and the other’s who just supported me in the background–you know who you are and I thank you! Here’s to 2012!

After a Cold Swim

“Make It A Great Day–Go Inspire!”

How High Can You Count?

Sometimes I feel like I can’t count higher than 10. Growing up I was a dancer. Ballet, jazz, tap, hip hop and African. African was amazing b/c it as so free and there were live drummers. Fantastic! Anyway, in dance you generally count to 8 and repeat. You may add in an “and a”, but that’s it. I noticed the other night when watching the hockey team we help, play their game, I only count up to 5. So, now my counting is getting even lower. Since I’m the trainer for the team, I’m always counting to make sure I see 5 players standing when on the ice. If they aren’t standing, that means they may be hurt and may need my help. Ok, getting even stranger…we ate at 5 Guys Burgers and Fries. Even restaurants don’t count higher than 5. Wanna guess how many workers were there?…..You got it–5! By the way, first time at this place and I had the most amazing grilled veggie sandwich!

This got me thinking about how much of our brains we don’t use. Or maybe we do. See, I may not use numbers, a lot or math, but I use my knowledge in other areas. We learn so many things in school and basically in my opinion, it just lays the base for where we want to focus our attention. Some use this knowledge to be doctors, scientists, accountants, teachers, etc. I use mine for socialization in real estate (people skills), healthy eating, dog training. We all have skills and we use them in the areas we are most interested.

No matter where you choose to focus your attention, do it and do it well. There’s no need to feel like you are less b/c you didn’t choose one thing over another. It takes just as much skill and thought to use the more “artsy” side of ourselves than to use the perceived “business” side. I used to wonder what my career would be b/c I was more drawn to what most see as hobby than career. Now, I sell real estate, but I continue w/ my hobby jobs and love them. I train dogs, teach exercise and nutrition (hope to get back in to both of these soon) and dance. The dancing tends to stay in private or at weddings. You can’t help but dance at weddings.

My whole thought has changed. I think there is a need for every choice of career. If you are passionate about something you are doing, you will be good at it and there will be a need for it. People want to trust and if you are skilled at what you are doing, they will trust you. Your love for what you are doing will ooze out of you. Use what you have and turn it into your life, your career. Don’t let anything stop you. So, the fact that I don’t count higher than 10 in my every normal day doesn’t matter. I’m doing things I love w/ people I love and that is the best feeling in life.

Thought I’d leave you w/ one of my favorite vines in our back yard. It was green all summer, but is now turning beautiful shades of red, purple–all the colors of fall.

“Make It A Great Day–Go Inspire!”

Staying Positive About Being Negative

Well, I had my 3 month check up w/ my oncologist a couple of days ago and my HcG levels are still negative. That is a great thing. So, I’m almost at 5 months of having my beta levels (hormone levels) below zero. My oncologist is very conservative and has advised me to not try to get pregnant again until sometime in 2012. Oh well, at least everything is moving in the right direction.

I look back on this last year and I just can’t believe it. At this time last year I was clueless to a lot. I had no idea how it felt to be pregnant. I was completely unaware of all the difficulties involved w/ pregnancies (molar pregnancy, tubal, miscarriage, etc). I certainly never knew how “perfect” everything has to be in order to just get pregnant and how difficult that is for some.  I had never even heard of all the things that can go wrong. I was oblivious to how and what it was like. Even more strange is that I never ever knew I would be so excited about being pregnant or the idea of bringing another human in to the world. I wasn’t even sure at this time last year that I ever even wanted children. When I saw the “stick” change and say positive, this strange elation overcame me. I remember thinking—how and why am I so excited? I wasn’t even sure 5 mins ago that I would ever want children. I’m just being honest here. I quickly realized that in a moment everything can change. I went from not wanting children to full-blown over enjoyment when seeing the word “positive”. Then, the horrible emotions after realizing that I would not be having a baby. This all happened in a few minutes and a few weeks. I love roller coasters, but I never want to be on that emotional coaster again. Ever! It really makes you think. Hearing my oncologist say that I shouldn’t “try” again until 2012 was a bit of a relief. I am very nervous about trying again. I don’t know if I could handle another molar pregnancy. It truly was horrible and only MG and I will ever understand. Others want to be there for you, but most don’t even know what it is and can’t fathom what it is like. It is different from a miscarriage. Unfortunately, my story seems gentle when you hear about the stories from other people. As bad as I thought I had it, it could have been much worse.

Also, at this time last year, life had its hiccups, but I had no idea what else was ahead of me. The horror of hearing that my mom had breast cancer and would need a mastectomy. Losing my best friend (Tazz, my dog) only 9 months after losing my other best friend (Stryker, my dog). Not to mention the heartache that MG has felt during all of this. The men in our lives tend to be overlooked, but this was all just as difficult for him. His emotions have been tossed upside down as well. Actually, it may be worse for him. At least I knew how I felt, if my body was ok, my mind, etc. He was a silent bystander. Just waiting to hear every bit of news from me or the doctor or whoever. It wasn’t “happening” to him, so it actually was probably more difficult to stand by me, trying to stay positive and not knowing what was going on.

So, who knows what tomorrow will hold and what I will be writing about at this time next year. All I know is that I could not be more proud of my fiance, my family (in-laws included) and friends. Somehow we have gotten through some of the worst tragedies in our lives to date, all in a 9 month period, w/ our heads high and anxious to see what our future holds. I have learned a lot about a lot. I have come out of all of this w/ such knowledge, strength, positive feelings and ready to grab life and hold on to it. I’m a little gun shy about some things and I have had my breakdowns, but I’m a better person. Stronger. Happier. Somewhat more sure. I at least know that I can handle a lot and can survive. I’m a very different person in many ways than 9 months ago. I’m ready to move forward. I’m staying positive. Don’t get me wrong, I still have some sorrows. I always will, that’s life. The point is–I’ve learned, grown, changed and I’m trying to help others. I’ve come to some realizations and I still have many more to go. Stay strong, stay positive and keep chugging. Take the blows that life gives you, we all have them. Learn from it, dust yourself off and get going. The longer we sit and worry, stir, stay angry–the less we are living. Trust me, you don’t want to miss anything. Life is too short. Get going or miss out. Even the hard times are lessons and worth taking in.

 

“Make It A Great Day–Go Inspire!”

tatTOo? Or No tatTOo? That Is The Question!

Well, I write about conquering fears all the time and how to handle them. I’m trying to conquer one of my fears, but it will be a while before I do it. I’ve conquered a lot of fears this year…surgery, deaths, playing ice hockey, but I’m terrified of needles, but I’m really wanting to get a tattoo. A lot of people I know have tattoos and love them. I am not sure what to expect and I always over research things. I wish I could just let go. Want something and jump in w/ both feet. I’m jealous of people like that, but that is not who I am. What is the long-term damage, if any, of the ink? How to make sure the place doing it is über clean? These are the things I’m trying to find out.

I may end up like that friends episode. Do you remember? Rachel and Phoebe go to get a tattoo, Rachel goes first and gets hers done. Phoebe is next. They get back and start to show their tattoos to the other friends and Rachel’s is nice. Then, Phoebe…hers is a wee, little blue dot. What is that the other’s ask? She states that it is Earth as her mother sees it from Heaven. Truth, she totally chickened out. They started and it hurt too bad, so she left w/ nothing but the little ink dot they started. Hysterical! Seriously, check it out here on you tube, whole thing is funny, but the realization is around 2:50 mins in. Phoebe’s explaination is around 4:10 mins. Just watch it all, best 5mins of your day.

I tend to get a little bored and want change. My parents can attest to this–if I wanted a new piercing, I had to get straight A’s on my report card. I’m bored. I want some change. Sorry, not bored w/ my life, I love my life–I just want something different, unique.

Also, after the year I’ve had w/ the molar pregnancy, losing both of my dogs and my mom having a mastectomy, I want to symbolize overcoming things. I also, really want to overcome a fear. I’ve thought pretty thoroughly about what design I want, there will be a meaningful memorial to Stryker and Tazz, and where I want it. Now, I just need to follow through, go to a tattoo parlor and talk to an artist to see my options.

Any encouragement or discouragement is much appreciated. I will make up my own mind, but any help is great. If you know of anyone who has a tattoo or you have one yourself, please share your advice. Knowledge is powerful and if I go in w/ loads of info, I can make the decision and know that I made the right choice for me. So, it is time to possibly step up to my own plate. Act on the words that I write here. Hope to hear from you guys and thanks in advance! I need the inspiration from you. I try to inspire others and now I’m asking for some. Never hurts to ask.

“Make It A Great Day–Go Inspire!”

Oh To Be A Kid Again….

Well, another magnificent jog w/ MG and his sister this morning. Not that many people were out exercising as early in the morning as we were, so it was nice and quiet. We ran on the road and on the beach again. Might as well use the sand while we have it to intensify our jogs. Followed up w/ some more yoga. I’m really enjoying being back in to yoga. It helps w/ breathing, sinuses, toning, stretching, strengthening and more.

After a healthy breakfast of coffee and cinnamon buns, it was out to play. Ok, so I get to cheat a little while on vacay. I just really enjoy going for a coffee on a patio overlooking the beach. I got to be a kid again for just a little while. We blasted the ipod player and danced around to whatever song was chosen next. Free of concern or care of what I looked like or what others thought. It was just all of us. All of us having fun and being free. Back like the days of when we were kids. Now sharing our dance moves w/ the little ones. We drove around and found a park w/ a nice area to see some fish and tiny waterfalls. There was even one area where you jump off the rock and in to a deep water hole. In this pic the lady was actually pushed off by her daughter. You might notice her turning to say something while in mid flight. See, being a kid again. Jumping, playing w/ a little nudge from her daughter.

We all got to wander around from waterfall to waterfall, looking for fish and other animals and exploring like a kid w/ the kids. Loads of fun!

Then, it was off to the amusement park. We went w/ our nephew b/c our niece was shopping to find new shoes. My kind of girl, already loves her shoes and she’s only 7 yrs old. It is so nice to feel like a kid again. I got to go down the big slide w/ our nephew and MG took him on the big go carts. We all had a great time and so much fun.

These couple of days away are not only fun and relaxing, but have reminded me of some very important life lessons. We can’t always be so serious, uptight, worried about what we look like and who is watching. Make time to be a kid again. Have some fun, be silly, dance like no one is watching. Nonetheless, just make sure you are having more fun in your life than stress. Get out and enjoy! Feel young, be young!

“Make It A Great Day–Go Inspire!”

Sauble Beach, ON–Aaaahhh the Beach!

We are getting away. Wooohooo!!! It is only 3 hours away, going further North in Ontario and only for a couple of days, but it’s a getaway. MG’s family goes to this cottage in Sauble Beach, ON every year. We get to tag along for a couple of days w/ them. We are only able to go for a few days b/c luckily work (real estate)  is very busy. Usually the housing market around here is not at the hottest in July/August, but this year it has been steadily busy. No matter–the next couple of days soaking in the sun, having fun, swimming, walking on the beach will be fantastic.

So, we came up late last night, which works out well. Just in time to get a good night’s sleep and be there ready to go for the first full day. Myself, MG and his sister woke up bright and early to get in some early morning sunshine and exercise. We welcomed the cooler weather. In Hamilton, ON we have been having record heat w/ over 90’s F every day of July. So, it was a pleasure to go for a jog outside and it was only in the 70’s w/ amazing beach breezes. Somehow exercise always seems much better at the beach. We went back and did some yoga and the day was ready to begin. By the way, we ran 1/2 of our jog on the beach–whoa! what a difference. We were all much more tired. It is way harder, but supposed to be much better for your joints. My legs were shaky for a bit after b/c of running in the sand.

Afterwards, we all headed to the beach. We played some soccer and football, but w/ the high winds it was too chilly to swim. In fact, we decided to go have a coffee and muffin on the patio. Beautiful! The good thing about all of us is that we can find the positive in anything. See it may be too chilly for the lake water, which is on Lake Huron, but there is this place called Oliphant that is fun! The water is generally very shallow for as far as you can see, so it is warm. The sun heats it up quickly b/c it is so shallow. You can walk out for miles and never be in water higher than your waist. We were able to catch a few creatures (turtle, sunfish, crayfish, etc), but of course we immediately turned everything loose. Don’t want to harm any animals. Then, we stopped to roll down a gigantic hill of sand and off to the cottage for some asparagus and grilled veggies.

After all of this, it was a serene night of fishing. Not a lot biting, but we caught a few and of course turned them loose. See a pattern going here? Doesn’t my sis-in-law look like a pro?

Even the kids were fishing. Beautiful night. Then, it was off to a local ice cream shop for a tiny bit of yummy treats. Well deserved. Back to the cottage for some chill and relaxation and off to bed and ready to start a whole new day. Aaaahhh the beach–we make the most of time away. Heck, make the most of every day. Life’s a beach, but if it is too chilly, go make your own fun elsewhere. There’s always something else to do and be excited about. The weather is perfect, not so much for swimming, but for everything else–Magnificent!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh and a little shopping never hurt anyone. A pair of the most comfortable shoes ever and some adorable Diesel rainboots for only $40. Cool deal. Too bad we haven’t had rain in over a month. I’ll get to wear them sooner or later!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 “Make It A Great Day–Go Inspire!”

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