I have a strange way about me that I generally choose NOT to tell others about what I’m going through until I’m already through it. I didn’t tell anyone about either of my dogs being sick until we had to put them down. I didn’t tell anyone about being pregnant or about my molar pregnancy until months later once I hit negative. I didn’t discuss my mom’s mastectomy until she had been through the surgery and was recovering. This is the way I deal with issues. I like to keep my life private (I know strange I’ m doing a blog) until I know the outcome and have to share. Even doing the blog is difficult for me. It’s a little scary to put this out there for others to see. I just know it’s something I need to do. I feel this blog will help others, that’s the only reason I am sharing. This kind of thinking tends to get me in trouble w/ the people that care about me. They would like to know things sooner rather than finding out after the fact. I get their point, but that’s just not how I deal with difficult times.
This leads to the question of to tell or not to tell? See if I tell people what is going on with me that opens up 2 negative aspects. One–I hate bringing others down. Concerning others with my problems makes them worry. For instance, Tazz passed away 2 days after Christmas. I didn’t want to tell anybody how sick he was during the holidays. That might ruin their holidays. I can deal with what I need to deal with, I don’t want to burden others. This is a strange concept b/c anyone who knows me, knows how much I enjoy helping others with their problems. I am always the listening ear or the shoulder to lean on. I’ve always enjoyed this–talk to me and I will inspire you to turn things around. Rather it’s getting out of a bad relationship or encouraging you to change to a job that appreciates your talents, whatever it is, I’m always here, I enjoy helping others. Two–my friends, family are people that excite me. Whether it’s going to visit my in-laws and just sitting around chatting, going home to NC to catch up w/ everyone, they all make me happy. I go to indoor soccer every Tues and have a great laugh w/ all the girls, an amazing group of girls. I don’t want everyone knowing what I’m going through b/c then the focus every time I see or talk to someone is “how are you? Are your levels coming down, how’s your mom, sorry about your dogs?” People only ask these things b/c they care, but I worry about things on my own. When I’m with people I enjoy, I want to enjoy them. I don’t want any sadness or worry from their direction. People are my pleasant distractions from the difficult times I am experiencing. This is my way of dealing with things. After starting this blog I began receiving calls and e-mails asking why didn’t I tell anyone, they wanted to be there for me. I appreciate all of your concern and well wishes, but hopefully you will understand now.
On the other hand, many people like to confide in others. This can be very therapeutic as well. In fact, I admire people who can open up. Remember, I’m the one that loves helping people who confide. Opening up to others can help in several ways. For one, you can see what others have to offer. In other words, see who stick w/ you or help in the rough times. Second, this can be a good way to learn things. Somebody always knows somebody who…(Fill in the blank). Some of the best knowlege comes from learning from others.
In closing, you have to do whatever works for you. In my case, I’m better just handling on my own. Many of my friends are better at opening up. Neither is right or wrong…just be you & handle things the way you choose. I got some grief from ones who care, that thought I should have been more open. In the end, they only care & wanted to give me support during my rough times, but they get it. Be true to yourself, all else will fall into place. If you know yourself, you will never have to worry or explain too much.
Well, I’m off to bed. It’s been a long day, w/ many real estate appointments and a late night of hockey tryouts. Se pics below. The one w/ me in it is a little phony. I was tired and ready to go. Also, check out all the nervous parents awaiting the results. Will their kid make the AAA hockey team or not. Tough call w/ the cuts that were made tonight. I disagree w/ one, but won’t get in to it. You never know who reads this. Anyway, one more night of tryouts and then the team is picked. Looking forward to seeing next year’s team. Good luck to everyon!