Friends and Family—I Am So Grateful!

I am honoured and grateful for all the friends, family and new friends that have come over to help or sent food and gift cards. A dear friend from Michigan sent an e-gift card for a delicious restaurant…all just to help out. I’m just in shock how wonderful people have been. I’ve made new friends that bring over dinner, get our nails done together and just helps with letting the kids play while my energy level is low. Have you ever been sick or hurt and it surprised you how

kind people are? Not the “I want to help”, but never actually comes over or helps. I’m certainly not looking for handouts or freebies, but I have just really realized how much good is in this world. Our world is so full of negativity that is displayed on social media and the media in general that you can go into the rabbit hole of how “bad” everything is. Of course, there’s awful things that happen, but through this sickness I’ve really seen the good in people and all they have to offer. Even a simple text or call to see if we are ok or need anything. Bringing their kids over to play or help babysit. Just out of nowhere when people hear about this cancer they just want to be around and help. Again, I just feel so grateful for you all!

A wonderful friend introduced me to oils and brought over several to help with any symptoms….Addicted!

Watching all my wonderful friends and family help out so much has made me realize what to do and how to help in the future for anyone going through difficult times. I always want to help others, but never knew exactly how, so I would do the best I could. I’m learning from all of you wonderful people how to better myself. Everyone in my world right now are just so generous and helpful and without expecting or asking for anything. Trust me, all of you, I’m paying attention to how amazing you are and you are really teaching me a lot. You are all teaching me how to be a better friend, daughter, mother. You are all teaching me so many life lessons and how to help others. I love helping and always like to see everyone happy and if I can add that to anyone else’s lives…I plan to! So, in the end…my sickness has very hard times, but has taught me so much. Taught me how to experience life with a much happier outlook. Strange how that works. Have any of you had life changing moments that are or were difficult, but it changed you for the better? This certainly has taught me so much. My thoughts are so much more clear and not fogged over With any insecurities, negativity or concern. I feel so loved and protected from everyone and the kindness. Even my doctors have shown me so much more kindness and excitement when things are looking better. Just incredible to see all of this transform in front of my eyes as I go through this journey. I just want you all to know how appreciative I am for you and for all of you taking time to read and listen to my story.

A friend brought all of us this delicious food! Yes, I meant to crop the pic as I don’t like to post other people’s children.

If you have any comments or have experienced this type of transformation within yourself let me know in comments. Maybe your story is the opposite of mine. Maybe you didn’t have help or maybe it didn’t change your outlook. Not everyone has this type of support and that makes me sad. I don’t know how I would get through these tougher times without all of you! So, thank you and I’d love to hear any experiences from any of you reading this.

They are just too cool!

Where Would I Be Without My Mom?

Christmas time!

I have always been lucky to have a wonderful, tight family and better yet I’ve married into one as well. The amount of family and friends that rally behind you is truly incredible. If you don’t have that connection it is important to establish one. Blood relatives, in-laws and friends have been incredible for me, but maybe your family consists of a group of close friends or support and that’s what your ”family” looks like. Nothing wrong with that. Just have a few that you know you can call on or lean in on. You never know what tomorrow holds, so try to make strong connections now. You may need to be there for them, or them for you, but get your circle now before you need help. 

When I talked to my mom mid November and said “I need help!” She was here, Canada from NC, in a day. How? I don’t know, she is MY MOM. I’ve NEVER asked anyone for help in my life. Very independent and capable. If you know me, you can attest to that. Well, now I need help. It’s been a struggle to ask, but that’s for another day. 

Anyways, when I made that call, she was here by plane before I could fully ready my house for her. She didn’t care, I needed her. She’s left all other family, dog, house, everything and come to stay with me for a while since I’m in the fight of my life. 

This is why I fight. In case I need to be here if my son or daughter have to call me the same way one day. I have a lot to teach them, learn from them and just simply see them grow. There’s days you want to throw in the towel b/c its too hard, but then my daughter comes over and holds my hand. Says she wants to help me upstairs into the house and to watch the big step going in. She’s only 3 years old. After a day like today, nothing better than being able to smile at how great she’s doing. 

I’m a mom. A dog, cat, baby mom. That’s why this means so much to me with my mom. It is hard to explain, but I have such respect for the title now. I always loved my mom, respected her and tried to treat the very best. She was always my best friend though. Now, I’m seeing what the “mom” title really holds…the power, comfort, confident, friend, warrior, savior…just having her here with me calms me so much. I simply don’t know what I would do right now without her. Thank you and I love you, MOM! Thanks for all you’ve done, are doing and for showing me the true meaning of what a mom’s love is all about.

I’d love to hear about your connections with someone special. Did your relationship grow? Did you ask for help and was it hard?

”I want to be….N.E.D.”

How Do You Keep Your Head Up?

Does anyone have the answer? Probably not, but I bet there’s a lot with advice and thoughts and that’s great. I have always been a positive person that tries to see the good in every situation. Sometimes it is hard to how find the good?

I look back on my days since diagnosis and I’ve looked at it in a productive, positive, take this head on kinda way. I have to say that there is a small amount of time that I really feel like things are out of my control. That’s the hard part. CONTROL! Unfortunately, I’ve always been in control of my situations and myself. I knew I could conquer, but with this it is someone else that is in control. Not knowing. Not understanding. Wondering why. These thoughts creep in and how do you keep them out or do you let them in? Maybe these are the times you have to dig deeper, find the motivation and figure it out. Maybe I can’t fully be in control, but I do have some. Is that how YOU keep your head up? If not, give some tips on what you do.

Juicing was the first option after diagnosis

These feelings are a whole different experience for me as I have not had to deal with being lost or out of control. I try to look forward to the end, but in some situations we don’t know the end and that can be troubling. None of us know our fate or what will happen from minute to minute, so you have to live every moment to the fullest. Up until recently, I was doing that. Living my best life no matter what curve balls were thrown my way. Sometimes the negativity tries to creep in. Maybe it’s worth accepting it sometimes and letting those emotions in. I am not used to experiencing negativity in my own mind, so this is hard. I try to push back and get concerned if I’m not always feeling happy or positive. Maybe we don’t need to always feel happy. It’s a whole new world for me.

This tree always makes me smile

Do you cry if you need to or suppress? I’ve always pushed these feelings away, but lately I’m allowing myself to feel them. If I need a good cry, then that’s what I do. It feels good sometimes to just let it all out. Break free from pushing emotions and feelings away. I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. How do you deal with life stresses and complications? Are you someone who pushes the hard feelings away or do you just accept them and let them in? Feel them. Accept them. Release them. I’m learning to do that and it feels good!

Just breathing in some happy!

Let’s Talk Insecurities!

Oooohhhh, yeah! This could be a touchy one. Does everyone have insecurities? I don’t know, but I would assume so. Then, again I’ve been taught that to assume makes an ASS of U and Me. Get it?

Anywho, I have insecurities. That’s right! It’s hard to admit sometimes as society generally views insecurities as a negative. I also had some jealousy. Oddly enough my jealousy never came from wanting something or wishing someone else didn’t have something. I’ve always admired other women and enjoy seeing happy, healthy, beautiful women. Heck, look at who I follow on Facebook and Instagram. Sorry, guys, but it’s mostly women that I admire or enjoy something about them. I like to learn from others. My insecurities didn’t come from being cheated on. It didn’t happen because I never had many serious relationships. I much preferred to be with my friends (boys and girls) rather than a relationship. That’s just who I was. Now, I’m very happily married with 2 wonderful toddlers and 2 dogs (Australian Shepherds) if you happen to be curious. Check them out….the cutest, right? Yes, they were part of our bridal party and came down the aisle to “Who Let the Dogs Out” and YES they barked and howled at the end of the wedding when all started cheering. Pretty sure they were the proudest and loudest. There may even be a few guests that comment below on this day. It was certainly an interesting one.

2 of our bridal party

Alright, back to the point. I started to have insecurities now that life was good and I didn’t want this person to leave for someone else or was I good enough, doing enough, etc. Odd feelings for me as I’ve always had such a confidence.

Another insecurity for most of my life was my health and fitness. I have always been conscious of what I looked like. Didn’t wear makeup until I was 25 years old though. I was very careful of what I ate and worked out every day. I have to be up and moving, exercising every day. I thought about how much I weighed, how my clothes fit, if I had cellulite. I’m also a HIGHLY competitive person. Didn’t matter what is was, I wanted the best grades, the boyfriend I liked, to win every soccer/tennis/volleyball/dance that I was involved, but now….lets take a moment and look at life since July 17, 2018. That was the change and that’s when most of these insecurities left me and haven’t returned. I won’t let them either. There’s a whole new BATTLE to WIN! That’s my focus. All these other petty things….don’t matter.

Now, my insecurities have all left. I have no more jealousy. I have a goal! I have a challenge to win! The collage above shows the progression so far. I’ve lost a lot of weight and never thought I’d BEG to gain weight. Down to 86 pounds isn’t pretty on me. I don’t like the way I look right now. I don’t like how clothes and jewelry fit me right now. So, looky there….I do have insecurities. They’ve shifted though. I’m not focused on someone cheating or being better than me. I’m focused on ME and how to be alive EVERY. SINGLE. DAY! MY friends, this is what’s it is about. How to better yourself. Not comparing, worrying because one day you may have a bigger goal than all that petty stuff. I know it doesn’t feel petty now, but trust me, it is! JUST LIVE! Live every day like it is your last. Go get that career you want, the house you want, whatever, do it now! My husband treats me like gold and without him, mom, family, in-laws and some very dear friends, I don’t know how I could do this. I know I would because this diagnosis has been a blessing somehow. It’s shown me there’s so much more to live for. I’m ready to travel/jog/do the stairs/play with my toddlers/be the best wife/friend/family/teammate again. So, this has been life altering, but in all the best ways. It’s taught me to LIVE and ignore the things that really don’t matter, focus on WHO and WHAT matters. Kick to the curb the people and the feelings that don’t!

Until I can do all those things again, I’m going to continue to eat, exercise (how I can), enjoy all the positive items and people in life and live every day to the max I can! I don’t want cancer, but since I have it, I’m accepting and grateful for the positivity it has brought to me. I’ve changed for the better in so many ways due to this diagnosis. So, I live the natural life the most I can with some chemo on the side to kick this disease out and enjoy all my newfound positive qualities!

Love to hear from anyone who’d like to leave a comment of their journey. Doesn’t have to be anything like mine, just love to hear from you guys! Remember to keep comments in a positive manner!

To Sunscreen or Not to Sunscreen?

Do you use sunscreen? There’s so much controversy over whether to use or not to use how do you know what’s right?

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I’ve always been told to wear sunscreen to prevent cancer. Well, guess what….now they say wearing sunscreen can cause cancer. Which is it? It’s all so confusing. How to navigate your way through? I am not sure how to do so. I have made up my own rules regarding how I apply sunscreen or not and it works well for me. 

I have always religiously worn sunscreen. I didn’t get skin cancer, but still got cancer. I lived with my mom all summer on the beach using my own sunscreen rules and I didn’t get burned once in 3 months. I’m very fair skinned as well and It felt good not wearing sunscreen. I use the UPF 50 suits for the babes to keep them out of sunscreen and they worked excellent. I highly recommend these swimsuits for summer. They are very easy to find and cover the delicate skin. I also have found the most wonderful hats that fully cover the head, neck and face and is also UPF. They didn’t get burned either.

  •  I was careful to be out of the sun between 1-4
  • If I couldn’t get out of the sun at those times, I wore a long sleeve UPF shirt
  • We got out every morning before 8:30am as well to get the early, healthy sun
  • Always wore a large brim hat to keep sun off my face
  • If I do have to wear sunscreen I try to search for the most natural with less ingredients

This “no sunscreen” plan worked so well for us. We were out early, so we got the early sun and we were there before it got too busy. Also, get a good spot on the beach since no one else is down there yet. We would bring lots of snacks and drinks during the hours on the beach. From 1-4 is a great time to rejuvenate and miss that really hot sun that burns. Read some books, take a nap, watch a movie. We would let the babes take a nap and we’d get work done under a shaded tree. This way we’re still outside, feeling that lovely beach breeze and getting all the fresh air. Another part for me about not wearing sunscreen was the vitamin D. I had my vitamin D levels checked mid summer and they were 97%. That’s so good. Amazing how much getter I felt gettting all the vitamin D naturally through my skin. Not to mention how therapeutic the saltwater is as well. We have to do good things for our bodies.

I’d love for you to comment below with how you feel about sunscreen. I love to learn, so I look forward to hearing some your thoughts. 

*Live Like It’s Your Last!*

 

I’m Changing My Blog to Fit with Life Now!

Life has changed again and this time in the biggest way. What most would consider the worst way. I’m trying hard not to look at it that way.

I’ll be back with a new look and a new name, but it should be an easy transition to keep following IF you want to. I’m going to follow up with all details and a full new blog discussing how this blog is changing and what my life looks like now and what I hope to change it to.

I hope you stick around, become a part of this new HOWDY Eh! Community I hope to ignite here. Please keep all thoughts and comments to positive vibes. Everyone of us needs uplifting and happy, lets not drag each other down. Hope to be back in a few days!

What I Love–Tummy Wraps!

*Disclaimer: Any products I’m reviewing here are my opinions only and I am not certified in any way. Also, I do not and have not received a discount or any product from these companies. All have been purchased on my own. Although…I’m certainly not opposed to trying any product for review, but it will be an honest review!


While I was pregnant with my first baby, I began researching how to shrink back after baby.      I noticed a common theme kept coming up….tummy wraps. IMG_1267Now there’s all kinds, but I chose a few that I thought would get me going in the right direction. A large part of me was pretty sure this was just another gimmick. There’s so many products on the market to buy whether

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I like to make silly faces–so just ignore. The wrap is what you’re supposed to be looking at anyway! This is the hook one I use for casual wear. This pic shows how it stands out under my clothes

for yourself, your baby, etc. I can’t believe the pregnancy and baby market now…it’s cray cray! How can we ever choose between all these products. Well, you have to so you choose based on celebrity endorsement, color, style or whatever your reason.

I purchased two as I had NO idea what would work and what size I’d be after delivery. I know what size I want to be, but……we all know how that goes. After delivery you still feel 5-6 months pregnant for a while after. So, I bought a Velcro and a hook style from 2 different companies. 

Thank goodness I bought 2 different ones. I soon realized that one was great for everyday use and the other for working out.

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The hook one used for every day wear. There’s 2 sizes on this wrap

The hook closure was best for everyday use and has 2 sizes, which is helpful. The larger size for right after delivery and as you shrink the smaller size. I found the velcro one to be best for working out. I can never get them lined up perfectly, so the velcro looks more bulky and

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This is the Velcro one I use for working out and right after delivery

more frustrating. I could never use this as my everyday go to. 

 

You are supposed to start wearing them soon after delivery and wear all day every day for at least 40 days. I have to be honest that I am NOT the best at wearing them I don’t find them 100% comfortable and they always show under my clothes. Therefore, I only use them from time to time. I do wear the Velcro to work out every time I work out, but take it off right when done and only some days do I switch to the hook closure. 

Do they work? For me…yes they do! I also do not wear these in PLACE of working out I use them in addition to, in order to help achieve the results I want. Now, I don’t wear them as often as I should and they aren’t something I will continue to wear. I like to wear for the first 6 months after delivery until I get back to close to my regular, pre-baby self. I had to have an emergency c-section with my first and because my 2nd was only 17 months later, they suggested another c-section. I found these wraps to be uber beneficial for this. It helped take the pressure off my incision and also helped that extra skin that feels so wiggly right after. I also notice that when I wear them for working out and for casual wear that my stomach DOES show signs of flattening out. Now, this is a lot of excess water that we retain around our tummy’s at this time, but for me I feel they do work and even when I haven’t worn in a couple days I see the difference. 

Please feel free to join me and comment below if you’d any further specifics answered. I hope to connect with many of you and hear your thoughts, comments, questions, pros and cons of tummy wraps. Any suggestions of other products to try, I’d love to hear from you!

 

👱‍♀️👶🐶Come explore this journey with me!✌️

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You earned it Mama…throw your hands in the air and be Proud!

 

What I Love—Babywearing!

*Disclaimer: Any products I’m reviewing here are my opinions only and I am not certified in any way. Also, I do not and have not received a discount or any product from these companies. All have been purchased on my own. Although…I’m certainly not opposed to trying any product for review, but it will be an honest review!

 

Yes I’m in my pyjama bottoms. It’s nap time for my 2 babies, but one wanted to be worn for her to sleep. I was hoping to have a little shut eye myself, but instead I’m doing product reviews.

I started babywearing with my first baby, who is now 21mos old. I started with a stretch wrap. I was completely clueless about babies, motherhood and all the in between. Of course this would include babywearing. 

The stretchy wrap absolutely DID NOT work for me. I had the worst time trying to figure it out and it never stayed put. I was a beginner, so that could be the problem, but just not for me.

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My current fav ring sling!

I found my way into woven wraps and slings and never looked back. My only regret is that I didn’t wear my first baby often enough b/c he was 5mos old before I discovered how to wear properly.

I have found some locally owned businesses that have taught me a thing or two about wrapping and wearing and different brands. I still have a lot to learn! The best is that I wear both my babies, now 21mos and 4mos, all the time. What a HUGE difference. I find that crying and fussiness is very low. The security the baby feels is so high and I can get things done…especially wearing my 4mos old and chasing my 21mos old. 

I have a love of woven wraps (for another review) and a love for ring slings.

This is a hand painted, custom ring sling. It cost me a lot of money, but it is well loved. Myself and both babies love having this around. What I like about ring slings is the convenience. Once you are comfortable with how to use them, they are a heaven sent. Baby goes easy in and out, I can nurse in it while walking, shopping, etc, very comfortable and the tail of the sling can be used as a nursing cover. This is to only name a few. 

Feel free to comment below with any of your likes, dislikes or any other helpful tips. I’m hoping to start reviewing products that I love so that all of you have a place to look  up all the different items on the market. Maybe I give you a new idea and maybe you give me some!

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Look at that pretty mermaid tail at the end!

Comment below for more details on product, questions, opinion or anything you’d like to see reviewed.

👱‍♀️👶🐶Come explore this journey with me!✌️

 

 

Life with 2 Babies Under 2 yrs old….

Well, I’m 3 months in to being a mom of 2 under 2. I have to say I love it. It’s so strange that until 6 years ago I never wanted to have children. This was just not something that ever interested me. I never followed the norm of wanting to be married and have children. Now, don’t mistake this as not enjoying my relationship thoroughly. I do and always have. I love my relationship, but I just never thought I needed a piece of paper (marriage license) to prove my relationship or happiness.

My grandmother really pushed for us to get married, as she felt we were already living as a married couple. So, as she was getting sick and we knew her time with us earthside was shortening….we decided to get married. We planned our first wedding in NC in just 9 days and we had a blast! So many family and friends and it was just as we wanted it. Just perfect. Our Canadaian family couln’t make it on such short notice, so we married again in October in Canada. Completely different than the NC wedding, but just as amazing. So, here’s the girl that never wanted to get married having 2 weddings to the same man. Funny isn’t it?

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Wedding in NC

 

 

 

Well, here I am again….never wanted children, now have 2. I guess I’m not the best at always knowing what’s best for me. Gotta say…. I love being married and I LOVE being a mom. To my surprise, I’d love to have 6 babies. We won’t have 6, but I seriously could. That’s how much I love being a mom. Not to say I don’t want to have 3, but that has be agreed on by both parties.

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Wedding in Ontario, Canada

Either way, I’m ecstatic to have the 2 babies I have and wouldn’t trade it for anything.

This has got me thinking. How much you can change your whole thought process on life. How life can take you in a total different direction. This is can be things that are happy or not. Sometimes we’re thrown curveballs. They can happen in an instant, so we have to be willing to change. Willing to see other ways. Willing to adjust and adapt. It may not always be what we wanted or dreamed of, but it may just be….just be what is inteded for us. Roll with the good and the bad. Not always easy, but sometimes we don’t have choice. We have to learn to grow. We have to learn to help one another. Not stay so bottled up and worried about what others think of us. Just reach a helping hand, a listening ear and help.

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My 2 under 2!

Help others. Doesn’t matter if you agree with what they think/feel. Just help. You never know what others are going through. Be patient and try to have sympath and openness. You never know what can change you and your path. 

 

Lots to Learn–Come Journey with Me! 👱‍♀️👶🐶

 

 

Oh My! 2 Babies under 2 Years Old!

 It’s been almost a year since my last entry on here. I always want to write more often, but seems to get away from me. I write because I like to. I also like to look back at what was going on as you think you’ll remember, but you won’t. I do this blog to help others. I’ve been through some wild rides and if anything, even one word, can help someone else…I want to.

I was just looking back at what I wrote last Jan 26, 2016. I had mislead people that I was pregnant as I was talking about my first born. Little did I know at that time I was actually pregnant. In this entry I was mentioning that I was NOT pregnant, but was just feeling comfortable writing about my first pregnancy. My son was around 8 mos old at the time of that writing. Well, life is a funny thing b/c I found out about a month after  that I WAS pregnant. Probably was newly pregnant while writing that. 

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Our first born starting solids

Well, I’m here writing now with 2 wonderful babies that are 17mos apart. Baby born in May 2015 and my 2nd Oct 2016. Oddly enough we were married in those 2 months. Yes, I married the same man twice in one year. We were married in May 2013 in North Carolina (my hometown), but then married again in his hometown in Oct 2013. Wild ride!

img_1207Boy have I changed though. I went from never wanting children of my own, to having a molar pregnancy, to wanting a whole litter of children. Once I saw the positive pregnancy stick years ago (Molar pregnancy), I knew I desperately wanted to be a mom. After having my first, I knew I wanted more babies. I just didn’t know if it would be possible. WE went through A LOT to have our first. I felt so blessed to have him. Then, our 2nd was quite a surprise. We had no idea. I was terrified at first of having 2 babies under 2 years old, but was elated as well. I look forward to sharing the drama and excitement of finding out about baby #2 next week. Hope you join in to read!

 

Lots to Learn–Come Journey with Me!