This blog has been going on for just over a year now. I can’t help but look back at a year ago when I first began blogging. I think about last December when my life was just about to be turned upside down. Last February may look the same, but feels drastically different. What a difference a year can make. This makes me think back for a moment: I had lost one of my two precious dogs and little did I know that last December, only 8 months after losing Stryker, my other dog Tazz would pass away. Little did I know that last December I would become pregnant and find out that my mother had breast cancer.
Then, I move to January where all hell broke loose. My mother had a mastectomy at the same time I had a D&C due to my molar pregnancy. My mom and I would be 12 hrs away from one another (NC to Ontario) having surgeries and supporting each other from afar. Neither of us could be there physically for one another, but somehow the mother/daughter bond brought us through. Amazingly, in one of her worst times and one of mine, we were helping the other be stronger than ever before. Sometimes you don’t have to be beside someone to have a connection, support, love.
Follow that up w/ last February. It just kept going. My HcG levels were dropping nicely. All felt like after the worst time of my life things were going right. Then, on Feb 5th my fiance and I made an overnight decision to get away and surprise some family w/ a visit to Mexico. On the way to the airport, my best friend reaches out to tell me her mother passed away suddenly. We have been best friends since we were 4 yrs old. This wonderful woman was a 2nd mother to me. Again, being 12 hrs away (NC to Ontario) and now on a flight to Mexico, how could I be there to support her? Needless to say I wasn’t physically there for her either. Our strength in friendship overrides all though and we got through it–together. After an amazing vacay in the Mayan Riviera, my HcG levels started to rise. I was sent to several specialists and ending at the oncologist’s where they wanted me to get chemo. You can read in my earlier blogs all about that ordeal.
The rest of my year went well and brings me to now. Same month, same spelling, same feeling as last year, but very different. Thank God! My life has changed in so many ways. I look back and wish things had not gone the way they did, but I learned so much. I truly became a better person, a much different person, but better. I realized how special each and every day is and how short life is and how quickly they can change. I learned to try not to take things so seriously and try to focus on the positive.
My 2012 will be different. I have two new amazing pups. They will never be Stryker and Tazz, but I don’t want them to be. They are who they are and we are having a blast. I love them like crazy and I don’t compare–that wouldn’t be fair to me or them. I waited long enough for me to get anther dog and it is amazing. My mother is doing very well and I just hope to be half as strong as her. I never realized how amazingly tough, strong and powerful she was until she went through cancer. As terrible as that was for her it made her a better person. She retired from a job she didn’t enjoy anymore (she would never have left if not for the cancer), she goes to cooking classes, walks, exercises, eats better and the list goes on. All things she never really did before cancer. My best friend is doing well and still has rough patches in getting through the emotions of losing her mother, but she is ok. I have been cleared, finally, after a year of blood work and tests. I don’t have to have any check ups now.
We all have ups and downs. Mine all happened in a 10 month span. I’m sure I will have more as life goes on. I’ve learned to be strong for others and help even if I can’t be right by their side. A true bond will get you through as long as you are there in some form. I try to see the positive and I’m much stronger. My life could not be more different from a year ago. There’s a lot I would change, but I got through it. I survived. You all will. Sometimes it takes time and when you are at your lowest is when you have to fight the hardest. It is so easy to be happy when all is well. The true test of character is when times are rough. Mine and my loved ones true character’s came out last year and I’m proud to say we are all better people and could not have supported each other more. I’m honored to be in each and every one of your lives–the one’s mentioned here and the other’s who just supported me in the background–you know who you are and I thank you! Here’s to 2012!
“Make It A Great Day–Go Inspire!”